Forgiveness Starts at Home
“Forgiveness Starts at Home”
Two women were facing very serious situations in their marriages. The first woman’s issue was the disrespect and verbal abuse she received from her spouse. The second woman’s situation was her spouse's infidelity.
Both of the women found themselves at an emotional breaking point. They needed relief from their mental anguish before their situations worsened. The first woman suffered from deep feelings of hurt, worthlessness, anger and bitterness. The second woman felt betrayed, angry, unloved, and full of rage. They both felt unloved by their spouses. Their emotions were perfectly natural given the situations they were dealing with.
As we go through life, situations will arise that cause us to feel a range of emotions. As a believer, we must choose to react with a Godly perspective and not a worldly perspective.
God advises against ungodly counsel. (Psalm 1:1)
Your friends may have the best intentions, but sometimes their advice is not in your best interest. The first lady’s friends allowed her to wallow in her sorrow, causing her to sink deeper and deeper into her despair and leading to depression. The second lady’s friends advised her to leave her husband or get even by having her own affair. This may sound like justice by the world’s standards, but what does God have to say about it?
The way God wants us to handle life’s situations and disappointments is far different from the worldly response. From God’s standpoint, believers are not allowed to dwell on their emotions. We are guided by God’s Word to do the following:
Acknowledge our emotions and what caused them, i.e. I am angry because…, I am frustrated when…, I feel betrayed because…, etc.
Cast our cares on God as an emotional faith sacrifice. Try confessing something like this, “I am feeling…because…but I Trust God to take care of the situation for me and I am determined not to be…anymore. I have far more important things to spend my time on.” (1Peter 5:7)
Praise God for being there to meet us at our point of need and renewing our trust in Him. “God I thank you for caring so much for me. I know that you are always with me. I know that you always love me. I know that I can always depend on you. I will find my strength in you and you will see me through this situation. Thank you.”
The heart of the matter is this, we must change the way we receive information from others, process that information and react to that information.
The first woman had to change the way she processed the hurtful and disrespectful words and actions from her husband. She was able to do this by looking at the situation from God’s point of view. The Bible says we must love those who hate us, curse us and spitefully use us. (Matthew 5:44) She began to focus on the wonderful things that God has done regardless of our actions toward Him, and was able to forgive her husband without him even asking her for forgiveness. She found her peace and renewed her trust in God. A short while later her husband rededicated his life to God and their marriage improved.
One of the devil’s best tricks is to get us wrapped up in our emotions and focused on ourselves. In doing so, we begin operating in the flesh instead of trusting in God’s Love and living by God’s Faith. Ephesians 4:27 says that we should not give place to the devil.
After months of receiving ungodly advice, the second woman battled thoughts of having her own extramarital affair and leaving her husband. The couple argued constantly and several other problems arose from her feelings of mistrust and betrayal. Her home environment became hostile. She told her husband that she forgave his infidelity, but her actions told a different story. She did not let go of her hurt and trust God to heal her wounds. Ephesians 4:32
From God’s standpoint she was also unfaithful, because she put her flesh feelings ahead of His Word. She dwelled on her hurt instead of dwelling on God’s Word. She trusted her feelings instead of trusting her faith in God to heal her hurts and to restore her marriage. She did not allow God to abide in her as she abides in Him. (1 John 4:13) Where there could have been restoration, there was destruction.
It comes down to letting go and letting God. He is saying, “I am here for you. I will wrap you in my arms and take away your hurt and pain. I will be all that you need. All you have to do is ask me to do it and trust that I will.”
God’s intention is to walk beside us through life. He wants to shoulder our burdens and handle all of our situations. We break His heart when we refuse to let Him be there for us. Only God can completely heal our hurts. Only through God’s love can we truly forgive someone so deeply that we no longer dwell on the past.
We become the change we want to see in the world, in our homes, in our relationships, in our marriages and on our jobs by changing the way we receive, process and react to life’s situations.
